Boys will be boys…!

Boys will be boys

Driven with his instinct to tame the wild camel... my son was running and touching the wild camel in the dessert of Oman-... leaving me his mother almost having heart attack! :-) . Photograher: RJB. Wahju Agung. Location: Wahiba Sand Dessert, Oman-Middle East

Driven with his instinct to tame the wild camel… my son was running and touch the camel in the dessert of Oman-… leaving me his mother almost having heart attack! :-). Photograher: RJB. Wahju Agung. Location: Wahiba Sand Dessert, Oman-Middle East

Every parent in this planet would be agree with me that raising children is a wonderful experience but also challenging in another side. This time I would like to remind myself about the awareness to the dangers of looking at our own children with different quality of respect than we would an adult. You know that young children are very curious to try and to do something new, touching and tasting everything to quench their thirst of curiosity. For this reason also young children would do some “mistake” in their daily life as the part of their learning such as spilling water from their cup on the table, scatter the paint everywhere when they are painting, scattering their food on the dining table… and many more…you name it!

As I mention before, that as a parent, of course I do love my kids unconditionally, I love them more than anything…. but wait a minute?? Oh no… Kiddo… why you spill your food on Mommy’s favorite rugs? Oh, I just took the rugs from the laundry yesterday and now look what you are doing on it! The stain would remain there and you spoil my beautiful rugs! You have to clean it up!…..  and without knowing I began to raise my voice…

Nevertheless, if another scenario happens, let us say my neighbor comes then we have a great time chatting and sipping the great wine…. but accidentally she spills the red wine on my favorite rugs…. What would I say to her? Will I raise my voice and tell her to clean it up or do I say, “It’s ok I’ll get it, I was going to get the carpet cleaned this week anyway.”

 That is what I’m talking about.

Compassionate communication with my children is part of the Nonviolent Communication (www.cnvc.org).Nonviolent Communication(sm) offers practical and powerful skills for compassionate giving and receiving.  Practicing the Nonviolent Communication, I would no longer use the language of blame, judgment and domination to my children.

Just that -respectful and compassionate-give the same respect and compassion to my 3 years old boy as I would give to my neighbor!

Fernando

My 3 years old boy-my clown. He would always make me smile no matter what…

Ahh boys will be boys… so just relax…!

Brunei Darussalam, June 2013

Evita kartikasari

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