“Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man!”

This week was a very special for me. It was the week of holiday for my children, so my husband and I decided to bring our family to have a trip to Singapore! Yes Singapore! My children were so excited. It has been a long time ago since our last visit here in Singapore, about 8 years ago. So here we are now, exploring the Uniquely Singapore!

So here we are at last! The Universal Studio Singapore!

So here we are at last! The Universal Studio Singapore!

Well, here we are now; flew away from Brunei to explore Singapore for a whole week. We were exploring Singapore from around the corners: from Universal Studio to Singapore Zoo, from Underwater World to Botanical Garden, and for sure to explore the Singapore’s famous shopping street:  the Orchard Road- where the giant magnificent edifices: the shopping malls were along the road,…… where the fashion has no boundaries. . . . Luckily, the hotel that we stayed was located in this road so we would be easily exploring this road.

Another place that we will not miss to visit in Orchard Road is our family’s favorite shop: the bookshop! There is a huge bookshop that provides sooo many ranges of books to everybody here, and it is a heaven especially for my daughter who is a real bookworm.

My daughter Aubrey-My Little Miss Bookworm along the Orchard Road, Singapore.

My daughter Aubrey-My Little Miss Bookworm along the Orchard Road, Singapore.

So here we are, wandering and scattering in the giant book shop, go to the different direction to grab their own favorite book then become mute to find out what in this book is. When I am walking along the shelves, my eyes catching an interesting title of the book: “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” and I wonder what kind of book this is?

Furthermore, I find out the book by Steve Harvey, now the basis for a major motion picture, is probably intended to be a humorous parody to make light of an ongoing situation about the relationship guide. How women should ask a potential partner to determine how serious he is, to understand how men think when it comes to relationships, intimacy, and love. Therefore, if a woman wants to get her dream man, she needs to know how he thinks about a relationship- so think like a man then!

The title of this book, especially the phrase “Think Like a Man” leads me to a my collective memory to a broader aspects of life, not just about relationship, but in so many aspects of life of women especially, when they have to “Think Like a Man”. How many of you ever heard that someone said to a boy who cannot throw ball well with this phrase “Oh you throw a ball like a girl!” or “You’re a boy! Boys don’t cry! Do you want people to think you’re a girl?” or whenever there is a careless driver in the road, people will say “it must be a woman driver inside the car!” and so many more phrases that makes me think so what wrong with us woman? I just think that it reflect the worldview of the man superiority, more intelligent than woman does. Do you think?


Sometimes,  people think it is a little thing, but they are often unaware that they have done anything to harm another person. Without knowing, many people were doing what it called gender microaggression. It is a verbal behavior that can create feelings of uncertainty, inferiority or marginalization even though no offense was consciously intended.

Microaggresion are brief everyday indignities that are verbal, behavioural, or environtmental. They may be intentionally or unintentionally communicated to marginalized group such as woman (gender microagression for example), to people of color (racial microaggression), sexual orientation microaggression, and microaggression to people with disability/ability as well.


The book I saw in a bookshop in Singapore really brings my mind to a further thought that I never realize before. I just wish to have more awareness to many forms of microaggressions that might happened around me, and the most important is to have awareness not doing so to the people around me so I can provide a better environment to grow for my children and all of the children around us.


From Orchard Road, with love from us!

From Orchard Road, with love from us!

After a week full of excitement, I can’t believe now is the time to go back home again in Brunei. . . . .

Regards from Orchard Road, Singapore, 29 March 2013


Evita Kartikasari


4 responses to ““Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man!”

  1. Hey Evita,
    Looks like you guys are having fun! I know I keep saying this, but I love your blog. You always have an interesting way of making such important observations. It is really sad to think we are in the twenty-first century with scientific and technologic advances beyond our imaginations, yet we still hold onto these ridiculous gender stereotypes. Everyday someone’s daughter is told she cannot because she is a girl and someone’s son is told he should not because he is a boy. When will we reach the day everyone realizes it is alright for boys to play with dolls and girls to play with trucks.

  2. nyiedum ifiok-ufot

    I love reading your posts and I am glad your having fun with your family. You are indeed right about the gender stereotypes. Now that you pointed them out I can see that they the most common stereotypes. A little boy is told to “be a man”. The driving scenario is so common too in Nigeria, as a slow and indecisive driver is always thought to be a woman behind the wheels. I have personally said some man driving in front of me was driving like a woman. I also boast that I drive like a man. It is quite funny now that I think of it but it is indeed a serious issue.

  3. Hi,
    Based on your writing and the pictures, I can tell that you have a beautiful and loving family. Society make certain people to act a certain ways. Two saying I dislike hearing are the phrases “Man up and stop crying you are not a boy”.

  4. Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog! LifesABanquet1(at)gmail.com

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