My Reflection on Relationship

Have you ever heard this amazing fact??

A new born elephant and fallow deer are able to run with the herd

shortly after birth.

By the age of six week, the baby seal swims the high seas

without assistance.

Yet…human infants remain totally dependent upon their mother or surrogates until at least NINE MONTHS after birth, and even then require SEVERAL MORE YEARS of assistance before achieving total independence.

What an amazing fact that sometimes I did not realize… that to be a real human, someone need trusted adult who provide a safe and protected space  for the children within which they can explore the world provisionally before going their own way as mature individuals.

This reflection brings my mind to travel thousand miles away to where I grew up with my parents and family-in my country Indonesia. My mind flashes back to the wonderful time I spent with my parents in a beautiful city of Solo, Central Java. Together with my sister, I grow up with abundance of love and caring, knowing that what our parent wanted for us is nothing but the best…

My father and mother in Indonesia-the greatest influence in my life

I remember my favorite quote from Urie Bronfenbrenner- a psychologist, specialist in human development, said about how important is the people around us who love and nurture us until we can be a an independent human. Urie said that :

“Witness the American ideal: the Self-Made Man. But there is no such person. If we can stand on our own two feet, it is because others have raised us up. If, as adults, we can lay claim to competence and compassion, it only means that other human beings have been willing and enabled to commit their competence and compassion to us—through infancy, childhood, and adolescence, right up to this very moment.”

Definitely, my family is the biggest influence in my life. From the very young age, my parents were always tried their best to provide me with the good books or magazine although at time good book were quite rare in my country. At that time when there was no internet connection (well, actually even the telephone was also very rare at that time) the books and magazine were the great sources to quench my curiosity about many things. The books and magazines cultivated my love of reading, opened my eyes that there were many beautiful places around the world, how people live and behave differently…. It nurtured my dreams to see and explore the world….  

The world around me has significantly influenced me to become who I am today. The people around me and my surroundings have helped shaped my dreams and aspirations. Here I am now; fulfilling my childhood dreams to visit many different places around the world, and has been years living abroad in Muscat-Oman. Well, being far away from my family in Indonesia and talking about them, now I start to miss them already: my mom, my dad and my sister….but hopefully we’ll meet again next summer holiday!

Now I have my own family, a wonderful husband-Erik, a beautiful daughter-Aubrey and a gorgeous son-Fernando to care.

This our happy family holiday in front of The Reichstag in Berlin, Germany

Together with my husband, I wish that I can do our best to provide our children the best environment to grow; full love and joy… just like a comfortable nest for the little birdie to live and grow…. And I do realize that my relationship with my husband is the great foundation for my children to grow and learn about attachment, love, security…. and relationship stability.

...Me, my husband and the pyramid. We were so exciting exploring Egypt... With him, I wish everyday was a holiday!

How lucky I am to have a great-wonderful-supportive husband,   

my best friend and a great partner in my journey of the pilgrimage of life…

the one that always remind me of this powerful song from Air Supply:

When the future looks uncertain
You can count on me to be there
And when your heart and soul are hurting
Just look and you’ll see me there

  Just follow where I lead
I’ll give you what you need
A love that’s always true
And someone who believes in you”


My daughter Aubrey and my son Fernando-They are my world! This is the joyful moment when both of them were feeding the pigeons in Royal Botanic Garden, Edinburgh-Scotland. To my husband: Thanks for giving me the world!


“It’s an easy thing to do
When I have someone who believes in me’

Thanks to you to my husband, Erik Ferdiansyah

for giving me the world!

I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

Muscat-Sultanate of Oman

November-2011

 

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8 responses to “My Reflection on Relationship

  1. Your blog is wonderful! Your post is great. It is so great that you have these relationships, especially the one with your parents. And I agree completely with the quote from Urie. People don’t realize that they cannot do anything without someone helping them. Maybe if they realized that, then they would be more apt to go help one other person as well. Enjoyed reading your post!

    • Thanks Shannon…

      any relationship which is supportive and positive is very important to shape who we are, included the relation we have in our study in Walden Uni.

      Thanks for drop by in my blog, Shannon!

      Regards from Muscat

      Evita Kartikasari

  2. Evita,
    Thank you for sharing your story. I hope to someday be able to travel to Europe! Providing a secure relationship and home for your children to grow up in and observe how people love and care for each other is the greatest gift you can give them!

    • Hi Michele…
      thanks for your great comments…
      I do hope also will be able to travel to US someday!

      Hope our dreams will come true and all the best with your family life, career and study.

      Regards from Muscat-Oman, Middle East

      Evita Kartikasari

  3. Hi Evita,

    So nice to work with you again in this class. I have learned so much about you and the culture you experience each day. It’s interesting to learn about your home country versus where you teach currently. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be if you didn’t have your husband and children to get you through each day. Your family is beautiful and I wish you continued success as we continue on this Educational journey.

    • Hi Clara,

      I was so glad as well since our path cross again here in this learning path…
      You are right, without surrounded with someone who love me, my live become so unbearable…. So lucky to have them around me and really enjoy to see the different places, people and world with them.

      I wish you luck with your family, career and study too.
      Keep the spirit high!

      Regards from Muscat

      Evita Kartikasari

  4. Priscilla Herron

    Evita, you have a wonderful blog and a beautiful family. Taking course at Walden allows me to connect and form relationships with wonderful people from all around the world. Viewing your blog, has really opened my eyes to the diversity. Interacting through blogs and discussions help me to connect and feel apart of the world of others. Great job on you, Evita.

    • Thanks Priscilla,

      I do learn a lot from you too, being enriched with the different experiences.
      It is wonderful how all of us has something different to contribute and enriched each other.

      Warm regards from Muscat-Oman, Middle East

      Evita Kartikasari

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